Jeff

I didnt think you would be important in my life.

you told me you didnt date when we met because you were selfish

i didnt think about dating you.

i just wanted to know what you were like in bed.

cause im selfish.

i do things out of pure curiosity.

i do things because im selfish and sometimes have little thought for how it may affect others.

when you moved out i was sad.

i was sad cause i didnt wanna be alone.

not that i loved you or anything intense.

i just didnt wanna be alone.

and then i did alot of working on myself and making bad decisions.

i never thought about being with you. we didnt have much in common. except final fantasy and kingdom hearts.

but we stayed in touch.

and you came over once. twice.

and i was lonely. i decided to ask you if we could date. i mean fuck the worst you could say is no.

but you didnt. you gave it a shot.

we threw our selves out there, and waited for it to blow up.

we had fun. we cuddled and had sex and went places and i showed you things you wouldnt have noticed and you showed me its okay to be quiet. Its okay to be silent and listen to the world.

even now i sometimes have to remind you to be silent, the world is working.

and then i lived with you at your moms, and the band was having problems, and life was beating you up.

i couldnt help. i didnt ask how, or if i could. i just didnt.

and then i moved out. and you broke up with me.

i deserved it. i wasnt really attentive. i had given up.

but i was mad. i was mad at you for leaving me again.

so i curled up in my new home that was now tainted with my anger.

for three days i bitched.

 and then you asked to come over. "to see the new place and hang out, cause we are friends"

i didnt want to see you. i didnt wanna fuck you. i was mad.

but you somehow made me say okay.

and you came over.

and apologized.

in person.

your eyes were shining when you told me it was a terrible decision.

and then you asked if i would take you back.

i thought about saying no.

letting you feel hurt like i had.

but i didnt. i said yes and held you close.

i finally found someone who wanted me for me.

we had a few weeks of getting back into a comfortable relationship.

we had a few moments of anger and pride.

but we have worked through them.

we work hard for full open communication

you bring up a girl i say how i feel about it.

i bring up a guy and i check in on how you feel.

and then

you changed your mind

and didnt tell me

until i was drunk

we went for a quick ride

and you asked

"so would you marry me?"

"i thought you didnt wanna get married"

"i changed my mind"

"when?"

"at the show in KC with he is legend"

"oh...what about the things we have talked about?"

"i dont want to change you, i want you to be you no matter what"

"alright. i cant handle that. Then yes i will marry you"

"awesome, i love you"

"i love you too"

and now i have less than 2 years to plan our wedding. Im very excited and very scared. but its gonna be great.