The gay thing

I did the gay thing.  I played around, i dated, and at one point i would say i loved a girl. But i was stupid.

I love the feeling of being with another female. i loved how it felt to bring her to the point of OMG. i tottaly get why guys dig it so much. i really do.

What i dont love?
being lied to. being the OTHER girl.
i really hate being the OTHER.

i just have a terrible time with relationships i guess i didnt take them serious. but i am tired a seeing this "woman" on my facebook who barely speaks to me but at one point said she loved me.

even if i knew at the time it wasnt true and that she is about the equivalant of a manwhore. it still felt amazing when she said it. the idea another person in the world could love me was just... crazy. I suppose i still dont believe it.

but then she just dumped me. she just quit talking to me and went back to her GF and then dumper her and got with a new girl. her "wifey" W/E

yeah im mad. and jealous. but it doesnt matter what i think i guess. to me it does but not to anyone else.

basically, im just sick of reminding myself of such amazing times. and of such aweful hurt. not even a good bye or a fuck you or anything. just gone.

Whatever. i did the gay thing. and i got hurt. so. boys/girls/men/women. you ALL suck. you are ALL mean to some one at sometime. but if you gotta be mean at least be honest.