i was banned on fb for 3 days for sharing apost against male genital mutilation.
pisses me off we can share a million posts of naked or nearly naked female bodies for whatever reasons but god damn it if we share posts about people skinning infants. its bullshit.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Monday, January 18, 2016
Sometimes i think about the wrong Him.
Sometimes i think about the Wrong Him. an no not the christian god or the band (although i am fond of the latter.)
Sometimes i think about a man that i cared for. I still care about him. I dont think that i should but, i found him to be important to me. I was going through alot of abuse and neglect, and there was someone who had been through similar and kinda understood, without talking about it. He understood how i felt without me having to explain that the creator of my life was making me want to end it. It was an oasis in a ocean of being so lost. Being in that house was such a great place to be. I wasnt old enough to drink, i shouldnt have had such easy access to any drugs, but there i was. In most peoples nightmares for their children, and i was happy. I was thrilled to be near people who cared what i was doing and where i was going. He who wouldn't let me walk through town alone in the snow at night. He fought with his GF to be sure i had a ride most times. I was taken care of and if anyone had done anything i wasn't okay with i had someone to turn to.
He wasnt a good person. i know that. he did shady shit, pinching product, overcharging. playing bullshit with his GF. being a cheating bastard. i know all of it. i knew it all then.
I could say i regret any of it. but i loved it. It was the first time i had ever been on the inside. I was in on the jokes, i was included. Even better i was preferred company compared to other people. I was truly liked.
This was the first time in my 15/16 years that i was included. School was always hard when it came to friends. I moved alot, and a hard time learning to be social with kids my age. I was more adept at talking to adults. So after moving here i was a complete failure at making friends.
i lived here for almost 2 years before i had a friend my age. then he quit being my friend cause i made another friend. but that friend wasnt a great friend so i still didnt have a solid friend. i went through alot of drama. i caused a little.Suddenly i was in a circle of people who knew who i was and mildly cared about what i was doing. people who would check in on me. it was a bit dangerous,but we all made it out pretty okay,
i mean we did better for each other then our parents.
Sometimes i think about a man that i cared for. I still care about him. I dont think that i should but, i found him to be important to me. I was going through alot of abuse and neglect, and there was someone who had been through similar and kinda understood, without talking about it. He understood how i felt without me having to explain that the creator of my life was making me want to end it. It was an oasis in a ocean of being so lost. Being in that house was such a great place to be. I wasnt old enough to drink, i shouldnt have had such easy access to any drugs, but there i was. In most peoples nightmares for their children, and i was happy. I was thrilled to be near people who cared what i was doing and where i was going. He who wouldn't let me walk through town alone in the snow at night. He fought with his GF to be sure i had a ride most times. I was taken care of and if anyone had done anything i wasn't okay with i had someone to turn to.
He wasnt a good person. i know that. he did shady shit, pinching product, overcharging. playing bullshit with his GF. being a cheating bastard. i know all of it. i knew it all then.
I could say i regret any of it. but i loved it. It was the first time i had ever been on the inside. I was in on the jokes, i was included. Even better i was preferred company compared to other people. I was truly liked.
This was the first time in my 15/16 years that i was included. School was always hard when it came to friends. I moved alot, and a hard time learning to be social with kids my age. I was more adept at talking to adults. So after moving here i was a complete failure at making friends.
i lived here for almost 2 years before i had a friend my age. then he quit being my friend cause i made another friend. but that friend wasnt a great friend so i still didnt have a solid friend. i went through alot of drama. i caused a little.Suddenly i was in a circle of people who knew who i was and mildly cared about what i was doing. people who would check in on me. it was a bit dangerous,but we all made it out pretty okay,
i mean we did better for each other then our parents.
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